


How to Improve Your Dialogue

by Shoes of Acacia (orphan_account)



Series: Bad Advice from an Angsty Teen [2]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue, Gen, Non-Story, writing tips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9354356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Shoes%20of%20Acacia
Summary: Dialogue is a SUPER important element of storytelling. If it's done poorly, even otherwise great writing can be ruined.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something, but I didn't want to be creative, so here. (:

_**1.) Don't think too much.** _  


****__This is a mistake a lot of people make, including me, and it really gets in the way.

You should almost never spend more than a couple of minutes on a single line of dialogue, even if you're writing a clever, witty, charismatic character and you're none of those things. The more time you spend on what someone says, the less natural it'll sound. Dialogue, I've found, is easier to write if you improvise it. You can always go back and change it, but  _really,_ don't overthink it. 

  
  
Overthought conversation:   


"What's wrong with your hair?"

"I'll have you know that when I was five, I had a terrible perm that ruined my hair forever. Ever since then, I spend two hours in each morning trying to fix it and another two hours crying on the bathroom floor. But you wouldn't know that, would you? No, you're too busy asking people personal questions."

  


Realistic conversation:

"What's wrong with your hair?"

"What's wrong with my - ugh,  _shut up._ "

  


Exceptions:

  * The character speaking overthinks things/is socially awkward



 

* * *

**_2.) Think about how_ _you_ _would respond._ **  


****This goes along with the first tip. It's much easier to come up with replies and comebacks if you pretend that you're having the conversation. It makes you more aware of what sounds natural and what doesn't.  
  


How someone might reply in, say, a text:  


"Hey, what do you think about the The Amazing Spider-Man?"

"I think Andrew Garfield did a wonderful job capturing the snarky side of Peter Parker, but the villain was unbelievable and nearly ruined the movie for me."

  


How someone would reply in conversation:

"Hey, what do you think about The Amazing Spider-Man?"

"I don't know, I liked Andrew Garfield, but that weird lizard guy was pretty stupid."

  


Exceptions:

  * The character is nothing like you (this trick still mostly works, though, even in this case, because it's more about what sounds natural than what fits a certain personality)



You could also use someone you know for inspiration.

 

* * *

**_3.) DON'T LOOK UP WORDS. EVER._ **  


****You know that thing where you're writing a paper, and you open google and type "define (word)" and then look at the synonyms? Yeah, don't do that.

 _Please._ I'm actually begging you not to.  


****Abusing a dictionary/thesaurus is harmful to writing in general, but it _especially_ ruins dialogue. Don't even replace those little, basic words like mad, glad, sad, etc. because people _use_ those. If you start taking out words that sound natural, your character may start sounding like a pretentious ass.  
  


Ted Mosby:

"Something in your eyes is rather beguiling to me."

_  
_

__**** A normal person:  


"I don't know what it is, but something about you just sort of...pulls me in."

  
Exceptions:

  * Your character is actually a pretentious ass
  * A robot/AI is speaking



* * *

**_4.) Consider age._ **

****Look.  
I love John Green - love him to pieces. He's a much better writer than me and a much better mostly-everything-else than me.  
__But he doesn't have any idea what teenagers talk like. Let me give you a little piece of advice, Johnnyboi.  


Teenagers are fucking stupid.

They don't sound like poets. They don't sound like authors. They don't sound like either of the Green brothers. They sound like hormonal, awkward, self-doubting idiots. Even the ones who don't hate themselves. They basically stutter and ramble and curse way too much. Even insightful things usually come out in the least poetic ways.

  


Augustus Waters:

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." (Ch. 4 of The Fault in our Stars)

  


Any other teenager ever:

"You know, that's the thing about pain. It's sort of an attention-whore."

  


Now, did that sound anywhere near as pretty? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA **no.** Absolutely not. 

But it sounded like a real teenager. I can guarantee you that no child would come up with that on the spot. 

  


Exceptions:

  * Children/teenagers who are trying to sound smart - outcasts, prodigies, etc.
  * Children/teenagers on the autism spectrum (people with ASD - generally - speak more formally)



  


As for other ages, children usually don't have filters, and adults are too varied and unique to generalize. Everyone is different, no matter what age, but children and teens have certain patterns in how they communicate.

* * *

_**5.) Stutters, interruptions, and characters talking over each other can be great.  
** _

****These things are all essential to how people talk. Including them makes conversations feel more real. They also help with characterization.

  


Don't

"Molly," she shouted down the hall, "could you clean up your room?"

"What?"

  


"Molly," she shouted down the hall, "could you clean up your - "

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

  


Exceptions  


  * Luna Lovegood-esque characters who care so little about what people think that their words always come out smoothly, with no regrets.  




* * *

_**6.) Don't worry (too) much about grammar.** _  


__People __don't usually check to make sure their words follow the rules of English before they speak. People speak in fragments. People (especially "'round these parts" in southern America) say __"ain't" and "y'all" and "kinda" and "sorta" and they don't usually care if it's wrong or if it sounds stupid.

You may also need to bend punctuation rules, like if you want to convey a certain tone. (e.g. "What." instead of "What?")

"Correct"

"With whom are you going to the dance?"  


  


"Incorrect" but more believable  


"Who are you going to the dance with?"

  


Exceptions:  


  * Again, your character is a pretentious ass  

  * Same exceptions as #4



* * *

_**7.) Convey relationships through the conversations.** _  


****People don't speak to their mothers in the same way they speak to their teachers. How you speak to someone depends on your relationship with them. You can give readers an idea of what kind of relationship characters have just through how they speak to each other.

Classmates:  


"Hey, er-Susan, did you write down the assignment for tomorrow? I didn't get it."

  


Friends:

"Yo, what's tomorrow's homework?"

* * *

_**8.) Don't forget to consider what the non-protagonists are thinking.** _

****Most stories are in first person (e.g. Percy Jackson) or third person limited (e.g. Harry Potter), so the reader doesn't usually see anything that the protagonist can't see. It's really nice, though, when writers imply what characters are thinking through dialogue. That way, even if the protagonist doesn't pick up on it, the reader might be able to.

John is innocent (maybe)

"Oh my god, she's dead."

"Wha-" John said, " _holy shit._ You stay here. I'm calling the police."

  


John clearly murdered her  


"Oh my god, she's dead!" 

"Uh, wha-oh," John said. "Yeah..yep, she's uh - that's a dead body. She's dead. Iwonderwhathappened."

  
Now, it doesn't need to be that obvious. Those examples are just...examples.

* * *

_**10.) Mainly stick to the he-said-she-said format.** _

****Unless the tone of voice is important, you'd be better off using, for example, "Susan said" instead of "Susan exclaimed". There's really no need for making the 'dialogue tails' - or whatever they're called - all flowery. (Not giving examples. I don't think they're really needed, and I'm **l a z y**.)

* * *

_**Final thoughts:** _

__(John Green is probably a great person andimsorryandiloveyoubby). I decided to write this after I wrote my Brit-picking guide, because this is something I feel I have way more experience with. Plus, I was getting really tired of reading stories where Hermione, _the brightest witch of her age_ , kept giving Malfoy some of the lamest, most overthought comebacks I've ever heard of. If this helps anyone even a little, I'll be happy.

__

  


  


_**  
** _

  


  


 

  



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